Twinning is a Thing

At least in our vocabulary. Yes I am that mom – the mommy who wants to twin with her daughter. Why, you would ask. I enjoy dressing up and have ourselves photographed. I feel this makes motherhood really fun.
I can clearly remember how my mom was like this to me and my brother before. She would always buy terno clothes for us. And as a grade school student, I did not appreciate, in fact I hated it. HAHA.
But look at me now, I grab every chance I get to wear matchy clothes with Monica even if it’s as simple as white shirt and denim shorts. Haha.
Since Monica is just 2 years old, I don’t often buy twinning clothes yet. I do, for special occasions, but most of the time, I just match what we have at home – may it be color or style. We don’t go twinning ALL the time but when we do, I make sure to have my husband take a photo of us. Haha. Because of this twinning thing, I came to follow and love different profiles on Instagram that showcase positivism in twinning. Thank you to the mommas who became my inspiration in this “twinning journey” haha. You guys know who you are. <3
Sharing twinning photos here!
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Breastfeeding Feels

Breastfeeding Unfiltered
Among all the things I am proud of in my life, nothing beats nurturing my child.
Thirteen months of exclusive and direct breastfeeding. Yes, that’s a feat. I know not all mothers are blessed with this gift that’s why I am so thankful that I am. My breastfeeding journey is not at all stressful – in fact, I have always had good milk supply, my daughter latches so well, and so on.
But my story is about how much I have embraced breastfeeding. I may not have had a stressful journey but sustaining it is not a walk in the park either. I am a work at home mom, with no yaya nor helper. It’s just me and husband with our baby. To say that I am always tired is an understatement – it really is no joke to take care of a baby and the whole household.
I don’t have a regular ‘me’ time, I have not gone out with friends alone – I always bring my daughter because she directly feeds from me and I don’t have the heart to leave her. There were days that I would just scream and cry because of exhaustion and depression (normal for moms). But, whenever I look at my daughter, all ill feelings go away. She would latch on me, either to satisfy hunger or to seek comfort. Knowing that I give her the best that I can, is more than enough to keep me going.
I have never been this fulfilled in my life. Knowing that I nurture my daughter the best way I know makes me feel super. Thanks to our breastfeeding journey. Also, I could have not done this without the support from my husband, family, and friends. They all cheered me on and made sure I am also well-fed and happy.  🙂
August is Breastfeeding Month – hence, this post and photo. I am so proud!
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Till next,
Din

The Mommy Hair

Hair was never really a concern in my life – I believe I’ve been blessed with a very healthy and manageable hair UNTIL mommyhood! Haha. This is one thing that nobody warned me about. YOU WILL GO CRAZY with your hair – well at least based on my experience. Well, yeah, not really crazy but definitely disturbing.

At 4 months post-partum, I started having problems with hair fall (due to hormonal changes after pregnancy and child-birth). I would literally see hair strandsssss everywhere! And even if I just sit still and do nothing, my hair falls off! Imagine that. So annoying!

At around 10 months post-partum, I felt I needed to regroup and change my aura so I will feel good about myself. Yeah, motherhood is really tiring and consuming so yes, you can say that I belong to the mothers who, most of the time, forget to take care of themselves. Anyhow, I had my hair curled (digiperm) because I thought that would make me feel good. Well, at some point it did. Who would not want to wake up every single day with your hair looking like you’re going to a party or event? Haha. Yeah, i loved my curls.

But… it’s hard to maintain because I always needed to tie it up so it won’t add to the things I have to manage and think of everyday. Whenever we go out, I would let my curls down but not even 2 hours outside, i would feel irritated and will just tie up again so as to make sure it won’t get to Monica’s face or Monica pulling it. Haha.

So one day, I woke up wanting to just cut my hair short. I wanted a different look. I wanted my hair to be the least of my worries and still feel good about it. Tadaaaaa. Monica and I went to the salon and had my hair cut! AND I HAVE NEVER FELT THIS GOOD ABOUT MY HAIR. YAY!

So here’s the evolution of my hair. Lels

This one, the day before I have birth. See, my hair was really long. And messy. Really. Haha

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Then 2months post-partum, I had it cut so that I would feel pretty naman. Haha. Pardon my haggard and puyat look. MOTHERHOOD YEAH. Thanks to Azta Urban Salon for this.

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This one is the kulot version by Tony and Jackey on the 10th month post-partum.

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And this one is the latest. SO HAPPY WITH THIS!! Thanks to Mike of Studio Fix by Alex Carbonell!

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If there’s one thing that motherhood taught me, that’s to be brave. BRAVE ENOUGH TO TRY. In my case, try this short hair look. Nyahahahaha. But I love it! They said short hair won’t be bagay to chubby faces like mine, I’d say, KEBS. I did it for convenience actually. I feel very light and I wouldn’t have to worry about my hair now. And most importantly, this makes me feel really good. So KEBS sa big face. Haha.

Till next,

Din

Mommy Body

“Ano ba yan, nanay na nanay ka na”
“Huy kelan ka ba papayat?”
“Ang laki mo na ah”
So annoying right? Yeah I heard those lines from people and I was really offended. They may not mean it but it made me really insecure. Hello I was not really payat to begin with! Haha. It’s okay naman to joke around – it’s just that, for a stay at home mommy who does not have time for herself, this really hurts. I know it’s a matter of perspective, but still, it hurts.
I did not gain a lot. Maarte lang talaga ako. Plus people expect mommies to be in good shape agad nowadays. Thanks to Social Media for being so unrealistic. Haha. Trend na ngayon na dapat payat agad.
Seriously speaking – it is insensitive to ask a mother to lose weight right away. Especially if you have no idea what she has been through or what she’s going through. Try mo kaya mag-alaga ng bata 24/7 while doing house chores? Haha.
I guess what I wanted to say is, stop body shaming of any kind. It’s just not good. And as for me, I am praying to just take these things constructively so I can improve myself. Afterall, I think they mean well. Sensitive lang talaga ako. Hahaha.
PS: My husband keeps on reassuring me that I am beautiful and not fat. So, kebs. Chos! Hehe 😀

Breastfeeding Journey

Today is exactly 10 months and 10 days of exclusively and directly breastfeeding Monica. While I believe that FED is BEST, I think I still deserve a pat on the back for reaching this far and for wanting for more.
Breastfeeding my child was and is the ONLY option I want. Primarily because I was breastfed (and my mommy kept on sharing stories about it) and formula feeding was not really something I have knowledge about.
When Monica first latched on me, I knew there was milk and it was enough. That’s the only thing I entertained and it never crossed my mind that I’ll have  a problem breastfeeding her. Mighty power of positive thinking I must say. I only had issues on the 3rd day when I felt my nipple was so sore and my breast suddenly became so engorged. I thought Monica was just feeding so excessively and aggressively, boy I was wrong. Her latch was incorrect, thanks to MMC’s Lactation Consultant who did rounds that day and saved my sanity. Haha. She taught me the correct one and that moment, all the pain went away.
I was so thankful it was corrected right before we were discharged. It made our journey a little bit easier than some. <3
I tried introducing the bottle  on Monica’s 4th month but she refused it. So I decided to just feed her directly. We are together 24/7 – I bring her with me anywhere and everywhere. We would go to the mall together, I will try to fit clothes while she looks at me, seated on the fitting room chair (not for so long as lately, she would just crawl and stand up haha). I would bring her with me while having dinner or coffee with friends.
So ME time’s really not applicable. Haha. And even though it’s tiring, I wouldn’t still trade it for anything. I gave up my career for now to take care of her, so bakit di ko pa sagarin diba? Haha.
One more thing – breastfeeding does not cost a thing! Well except if I request for a new dress or crave for so many food. Haha. In a way it helps my pride knowing that I cannot contribute financially – well at least I make my baby healthy with zero money involved. hahaha.
The only thing I don’t like is – it makes me so hungry all the time! I lost my pregnancy weight 2 months post partum but I gained 1-2kgs on the 5th month! So hard to lose weight! #mommyissues
But still…
I love breastfeeding. It gives me a sense of pride especially with the bond that Monica and I have. So thankful that things are looking good in our journey. <3

Baby Blues: It's Real

Monica’s perfect in our eyes. As first time parents, we were really excited to show her to world. We had visitors, we were active in social media, and we talked about our baby non-stop. I was advised to have a complete rest. I did not listen.
On the 5th day, we went home. And that’s when it has sunk in. Our lives have changed for real. It was really hard for me to move, carry Monica, and find a position to nurse her. My mom stayed with us that night. She did our laundry, cooked for us, and cleaned our place.
The morning after, she had to go home and that’s when I started crying. I cried because of deeper respect and love for my own mother.
I cried every single day for one whole week. I cried because Monica refused to sleep at night, fussy and gassy. I cried because I cannot do the things I used to do. I cried because I felt I was so alone. I cried because I wanted to be with my mother – meaning, I want my old life. I cried because I wanted Monica inside my tummy again.  I cried because I was really tired and all I wanted was to sleep for 4 days straight. I cried because of a lot of things. And I was told it’s NORMAL.
BUT Beej, Monica, and I managed to get thru – with just the 3 of us physically and our parents/friends virtually. Haha. During Beej’s paternity leave, he would do all household chores while I recover and take care of Monica. It got better. We got used to it. Hoooray.
As they say, “the struggle is real”. It was so damn real. And worth it. <3