Tag: motherhood

“Caught Than Taught”

Our words become theirs and our actions become their path.

One afternoon as I watch Monica play at the playground, I noticed a boy who was extra rowdy and noisy. I told myself, maybe he just has more energy to spare. One of the games they played was tug of war using the old jump rope I gave to another kid. This boy was so excited that he went all out causing the rope to break and the kid on the other side to fall hard on the ground. I thought the boy would at least feel sorry for what happened but he just left as if nothing happened.

I intervened and called the boy. I asked him “so the rope broke and your playmate got hurt. What will you do, are you not supposed to say something? He then said, “WHAT? I CAN BUY HER A NEW ROPE. I HAVE A LOT OF MONEY. DOES SHE WANT A NEW ROPE? I CAN BUY HER MORE,” I was stunned and a few seconds later, I felt my blood skyrocket and answered back: “We don’t need your money, we need you to say sorry because she got hurt. Do you think money is the answer?” I know, as an adult, I should have not reacted that way, it’s just that, I was so surprised to hear a 7-yo boy casually utter those words.

After I helped the other kid get up, I talked to the boy again and explained that he should apologize if he hurt somebody, intentionally or not. And having so much money won’t resolve the problem so he must refrain from using it as an excuse. He then said sorry and they continued to play. Kids are alright again.

I am not sure how he learned to answer like that – was it from the shows he watches, the games he plays, the primary caretakers, at home, in school? I don’t know and I am not in the position to judge. One thing is certain though, he acquired it.

And this is why, as parents and as primary caretakers, we are responsible and it’s our duty to be a good example to our kids. I admit, I easily make face, rant, etc whenever I get stressed. And you know what, I catch Monica doing the same, with matching roll eyes even. I always say “Oh my gosh” “haaaay nakuuu” and I hear her say as much. Can I blame her? Can I call her out for merely copying what I do? No. So the change must come from me and from there she’ll (hopefully) follow.

I remember in one of the teacher-parents meeting in her preschool, the Directress said “We know how the parents talk at home whenever we listen to your kids. We have an idea how it is at home with the way your kids interact in school. Your words are their words so be careful what you say and show your child.” And as Monica grows up, I cannot agree enough. Our role is very crucial in raising children; if we want them to be responsible and good adults, we have to be one first.

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“It seems that I don’t need you for that anymore.”

Some days, I want her to grow up so she can do more things on her own. But most days, I just want her to stay little and need me a little more.

It’s been a week since Monica started to wash on her own every after bathroom business. I can’t count how many times I asked when will she be able to do it. Not that I want to rush things, but just so she won’t bother me when I am asleep, at work, or simply resting.

Lazy mama you must say, but yes. I have days when I don’t really want to function as a mother. 

One Sunday, when I was napping and Beej was in a meeting (he has Sunday work), Monica woke me up because she wanted to poop. Awoken from a very rare nap, I snapped and her and said “I hate that my sleep is now interrupted! Don’t talk to me first! Let me rest!” I know, I know, too bad of me. I felt guilty after and explained why I got mad.

Almost the same scenario happened again, but this time, Monica did not wake me up. She waited for her daddy’s meeting to finish before calling him even if it meant waiting in the toilet for 30 minutes. I asked why she had to wait, “I don’t want to disturb your sleep, mommy.” My heart was crushed. 

A few days after this incident, she asked me to teach her how to wash herself. So I taught her; showed her how to use the bidet, soap, and so on. At first I was so excited and proud. She learned fast and she seemed to enjoy doing things on her own. Until last night when I decided to secretly watch her wash.

She seemed uncomfortable; imagine, a small built trying to reach the bidet, the soap, while making sure her shirt won’t get wet. It took a long time for her to finish. But as soon as done, she ran to me and shared how she did it as usual. That’s when I cried.

Monica: Mommy why are you crying?

Mommy: Why are you washing your pwet on your own already??

Monica: It seems that I don’t need you for that anymore

Mommy: ????

Monica:

Oh no don’t cry mommy! I still need you in learning new things. I still need you to take care of me.?

I am sorry for being emotional but it really made me cry. Now I wanted to do all things for her but I know I shouldn’t. No matter how much I stop or delay, this stage will come. I felt guilty for being so lazy but at the same time, I know it was needed.

Haaaaaay. My baby who used to be so clingy and needy is now a big girl. Haaaaaaay. BRB crying again.???

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Mothering Monica: Year Four

The words you say now all make sense; you express what you feel, you say what you want. What a feisty yet sweet little girl you are turning to be.

I remember your first day in school as an official student, not “saling-pusa” anymore. I was nervous but you were confident – happy and excited. Never a trace of separation anxiety.

I remember celebrating your 3rd birthday in school which you vividly remember till this day – the Jollibee chickenjoy, the Red Ribbon cake with traffic signs as toppers, the birthday song from your classmates.

I remember feeling a bit frustrated because you never liked doodling, coloring, or even touching your pencil. I remember feeling a bit jealous about other kids your age because they color oh so fine. But I remember stopping myself from feeling the pressure and instead wait for you to be ready. I remember you writing on your own a month after your 3rd birthday. And you did it without any help at all. I remember that day so well; you held your pencil and paper and wrote the word CHEESE — just copying what you saw from a chips wrapper.

I remember feeling so ecstatic because you finally learned how to write. And since that day, you were unstoppable. You hated tracing letters and numbers but were always game to write freestyle.

I remember the first time you read sight words. You were 3 years and 2 months old. I purposely did not mind it because I know kids tend to memorize fast especially words they are familiar with. But deep inside, I remember feeling so proud. I remember you finally reading for real at 3 years and 6 months — from simple sentences to long paragraphs. I remember you reading 5 books a night and you just won’t stop. I remember getting a lot of questions from others on how we taught you how to read and all I could say was “we just let her.”

https://www.instagram.com/p/B9fyfUGnhAj/?utm_medium=copy_link

    I remember all the school activities we attended. You became more confident in front of many people. You were not scared to dance and sing. You were not a very assertive child but you know how to express how you feel and what you want. I remember you being friendly to almost anyone you played with. I remember you being sensitive when someone is happy or sad.

    I remember taking you out to a lot of Mommy and Monica dates. We would eat out, play around, window shop, try on clothes, ride Grab or jeepney together. You and I were always together. I remember going to the coffee shop with you; I will finish my article and you will color and play on your own. I remember bringing you to palengke or supermarket and you will just smile ‘to people we’ve come across with. I remember taking you to events, you would just behave and let mommy “work” while you play.

    I remember having a much longer time for myself whenever I go out because I can already leave you with daddy without you making a fuss. I remember you being okay not to breastfeed for a max of 6 hours and just play with daddy the whole time.

    I remember how our family would always go to the mall, but this time, no more stroller or carrier for you. I remember you walking in the mall like a big girl already. I remember bringing you to toy stores and allowing you to play but not buying everything you want. And I remember you being okay with that. I remember bringing you to the cinema. I remember the Frozen fever. I remember family dates, either just us three, or with another family.

    I remember this year, we have successfully eliminated the use of gadget after almost a year of being a slave to it. It was not a good influence at all so we decided to cut it out completely and the result was amazing. You’ve never thrown a tantrum, your focus improved, and your imagination was superb.

    I remember so many accomplishments and milestones this year and so are the kulit and away moments. You’re still a child and sometimes you test my patience so bad. But I remember you saying you love me as if I never shouted at you. You would still embrace me even after getting into a fight with you.

    I remember having so many plans for the summer and your 4th birthday but the pandemic happened. The great outdoors suddenly became a threat to people especially to kids like you. I remember feeling bad about this but we had no choice but follow. We maximized what we have inside our small home. Every corner was utilized just so you not feel left out. Thankfully, you understood what’s going on but my heart still aches because we want you to have fun outside. All of a sudden, we’re forced to stay home and not meet our families and friends. It was hard for adults, more so for kids. I felt like you were robbed of your childhood but you thrived. You never whined, you never complained. You went with the flow. That’s how you maintained your glow.

    I remember this year when I thought it was all just about read and write, but with the things that happened, you proved that you’re more than just that. And in just a snap, we will be entering Year Five.

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    Mothering Monica: Year Three

    And the discoveries and milestones went on. My baby who used to just coo, cry, and laugh turned out to be an unstoppable chatterbox. Welcome to Year 3!

    I remember enjoying this toddler stage so much. Everything Monica did and said were fascinating and amusing. I remember being so surprised at Monica’s words each day; words that turned to phrases and eventually sentences.

    I remember Monica running around our condo amenities area; I remember her playing with her friends while I sit and watch with my fellow moms, too. I remember her going home with dirty feet and hands, sweaty but really happy.

    I remember giving her just chicharon and rice, or, sabaw and rice, just so she would have “food” in her stomach. I remember this stage as the peak of her “problematic” eating habits (or so I thought).

    I remember the first time our baby attended a “free trial” in school. I remember being so excited for Monica because we wanted her to develop some social skills. I remember leaving Monica on her “first day” of Day Care and got surprised because she did not even cry. I remember having my so-called “ME TIME” for the first time because Monica was left in school for an hour.

      I remember us hoarding books for her. I remember Monica being so giddy whenever we visit a bookstore. I remember Monica trying to read and copy everything she sees in her book.

      I remember Monica being sooooo interested about excavators, trucks, trains, even road signs. I remember her knowing different types of vehicles and eventually used it for her play. I remember getting Monica all sorts of toys that are related to cars. I remember hearing people say “Bakit nyo pinapayagan maglaro ng cars eh panlalaki yan?”

      I remember working part time at night and some writing gig on the side. I remember pouring my heart out in every article I had. I remember patting myself on the back for doing everything at once. I remember being part of a mom community online. I remember being excited to share snippets of motherhood, product reviews.

      I remember bringing the twinning moments to another level. It became part of who we are as a mother and child.

      I remember breastfeeding Monica still day in day out. I remember wanting to wean her off but later on decided to just wait for her to do so.

      I remember handing my phone over to Monica just so I could rest. I was so sick and all I needed was a little bit of sleep. I gave my phone to Monica to entertain her at least. I remember relying on gadgets just so I can breathe. Yes, this happened to us, too. I know how it feels.

      I remember Monica being potty-trained in just a week! All it took was her readiness and a little bit of accident here and there.

      I remember this year as another stage of trial and error, discoveries and victories. A lot has happened in Year Three, but when I try to recall, it feels like a blur. How come it went by in a flash and now it’s Year Four?

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      Mothering Monica: Year One

      I remember the feeling but the details are fleeting.

      Mothering Monica: Year One

      Almost five years into motherhood and I must say, I am now slowly getting my time back again. Few years ago, all I could think of was how to shush my baby, how to get a decent sleep, how to pee while holding a newborn, how to eat my meal while breastfeeding.

      It was just Beejay, Monica, and I since Day 1. And while it could have helped to have my mom or mom-in-law, or a yaya around, I am so glad we didn’t have. Everything that I cried about helped me become a mother that I am today.

      I remember when Monica had her first hiccups; Beej and I got into a fight because we were both sleep-deprived and exhausted. He searched everything in Google while I tried my best making sure Monica’s okay. I told Beej not to panic and just go with our instinct. A few minutes later, Monica stopped. YES IT WAS JUST A HICCUP but nobody told us that it is normal for newborns. It looks so trivial now but back then, it almost tested our marriage. Haha.

      I remember sleeping at 8pm while Beej takes care of Monica till 12mn then I’ll stay awake till morning. Beej’s turn again before going to work while I catch 1 or 2 hours of sleep. Beej worked for 12-14 hrs during those days — sometimes he will drop by at lunch time to bring me lunch, other days I would cook, and the rest, food delivery. That’s how our usual days went by.

      I remember screaming in the middle of the day because Monica wouldn’t stop crying or wouldn’t stop latching on me. My whole body was in pain, I was recovering from a CS operation, I was hormonal, I was dead tired.

      I remember bathing Monica on my own ever since we brought her home. It was scary and I was always nervous but I gotta do what I gotta do. I would place her on top of the washing machine so I can put soap then I would carry her in one arm so I can wash her in the sink. I never used a heated or warm water because I had no time boiling water for her. I was more afraid of me accidentally pouring hot water on my baby than her “getting a cold” from showering with cold one. She grew up bathing using tap water — warm or cold, it didn’t matter. Fast forward to today, I’d say I am glad she got used to it.

      I remember bringing Monica to the mall for the first time ever, she was 5 weeks old. Her routine was disrupted. She cried heavily for about 15 minutes in Yabu. Beej and I were so worried that others might judge us. So I brought Monica outside, pacified her. Breastfed her while walking. Changed her diaper for the first time in a public place. Crazy. But I am glad it happened.

      I remember establishing a routine early on. This helped us navigate the newborn to infant stage. I remember us talking to Monica all the time – telling her what we see, what we touch, and more. Her cooes and smiles were always the perfect answer.

      I remember fighting cabin fever, post partum blues, self-doubt by talking to my mom and mommy friends and by going to the mall almost every week with Monica. I remember Beej babywearing her while I carry our big diaper bag or vice versa. I remember the baby carrier being our best friend: feeding her while walking, while pooping, while working, etc.

      I remember Monica getting fever for the first time when she was 9 months old. I cried and cried and did not know what to do. We brought her to the ER only to find out it was a bit normal for her age – to contract Roseola. Since then, I promised not to panic anymore.

      I remember being the go-with-the-flow and the over-sharer mommy. I remember being so excited for Monica to crawl on the outdoor playground floor. I remember not minding her getting dirty. I remember all the sweat she had from playing too much. I remember trying to feed Monica organic and sugar/salt-free food at first only to give up after a few tries. I remember protecting my peace by not comparing how I do things with other moms. I remember just trying to wing each day that passed by. I remember the monthly photoshoot and how it made us happy. I remember posting so many photos and videos of Monica because why not.

      I remember working part time while I carry Monica in my lap. I remember doing chores while she takes her nap. I remember Beej never complaining about our house being messy. I remember Beej working for almost 14 hours each day and still helped me with Monica and the chores in the evening. I remember crying to him because I was too tired. I remember forgetting that he was tired, too. I remember days were not always happy.

      I remember Monica hitting her monthly milestones. Her first smile, her first laugh and giggle. Her first “close-open” at 3 months old. Her first LOL at 4 months. Her first roll-over. Her first solid food. Her first beach experience. Her first word. Her first walk. I remember all of her milestones. I was there at every single milestone. As the memory of my camera filled up, my heart was bursting with love and happiness seeing my little baby growing up right before my eyes.

      Before I knew it, it’s Year Two already.

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      “Anak, fight back.” When do we need to say that?

      This question has been bugging me the whole day. So let me ask you, when do we urge our kids to fight back and how? I honestly don’t know. I want to raise a kind human being but I don’t want her to be a push-over. It’s so much easier said than done. How do we discern?

      I attended a mom and baby event yesterday – kids playing everywhere. It was fun of course. But then, Monica cried twice. Yes twice, different kids but same scenario. Inagawan ng laruan si Monica.

      I was just observing as always – I know I am not in the position to meddle. Bata yan, syempre mag-aagawan sila ng laruan. Very normal. But observing how my Monica helplessly cried that time was just heartbreaking. I heard her say “hey that’s mine. Hey, can you please give it back to me? I am still playing.” She kept begging the other kid. Nakakaawa tapos umiyak na sya at lumapit sa akin when she saw me looking at her.

      I don’t blame the other kid, what do they know right? Well Monica, as far as I know, never pa nang-agaw ng ganon and never rin naman sya nanakit pag may ginagawang hindi maganda sa kanya. Pero syempre bata sila. Sisishin ko ba yung isang bata? Hindi, diba?

      But on the second instance, nangyari ulit. She kept saying “please give it back to me, I am still playing” tapos naiyak na naman at lumapit sa’kin. I told her, “Monica, you already asked them nicely, this time, you get it from them. Get it, it’s yours!” Tama ba ako? Mali ba? I don’t know.

      In my mind, I should teach her how to assert herself and that she shouldn’t let others make her cry like that. That she can fight if she must. BUT mabait syang bata. She would rather cry and go to me kesa lumaban or manakit or whatever. Hay.

      What do you do, moms, dads? Haha. I honestly don’t know. I want her to fight but I don’t want her to think it’s always good to fight. She’s 3 years old and whatever I teach and show her, she easily absorbs so I am extra careful. I don’t want her to be the kid moms are worried about. Gets?

      Am I right? What is the better way to deal with this?

      Thanks in advance! <3

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      Bye Lamok? Buy Bug-A-Bye!

      This news I read from Smart Parenting yesterday made me really panic, “DOH Declares a National Dengue Epidemic After Cases Reach Over 146,000.” Who wouldn’t? Sobrang nakaka-panic ‘to. Last week lang dinala namin si Monica sa ER kasi 3 days na on-off lagnat nya and kahit hindi ako yung tipo na praning, napraning talaga ako kaya sugod kami sa ER and we did some tests on her. Thank God it was just a bacterial infection and hindi Dengue.

      I really despise mosquito bites. Kahit hindi Dengue season, super kaaway ko ang lamok. Nag-mana yata sa akin si Monica, mabilis kagatin ng lamok, and worse, nagsusugat agad sa kanya kaya hate na hate ko ang lamok.

      We tried a lot of brands, types, name it. From the sticky lotion to the spray ones. Nothing really worked until I tried Bug-A-Bye from Faith Hope Love Skin Food. So happy that finally, an insect repellent that is really effective, safe, and affordable. I’ve been meaning to share one of my #trustedbrands for a long time now pero hindi ko nagagawa. Maybe this is the right time kasi nga, Dengue season is real and we cannot afford to be complacent. If we need to spray every 2 hours, why not? I’d rather do that than be sorry later.

      What makes this Bug-A-Bye a winner? “It is a combination of citronella, lemongrass and peppermint essential oils. The mix of their scent are potent enough to deter harmful insects, most especially mosquitoes! Become worry-free with this product’s effectiveness and the absence of harsh chemicals. This is DEET free, and as faithful to our policy, organic, vegan, non-GMO and cruelty-free. ” Oh diba, bongga. Safe talaga sya. And I swear, the smell is not too strong! I’d say safe talaga sya because Monica has a sensitive skin pero hindi nagrereact kahit na super spray ako sa kanya. I spray it on her body, even dab a little on her face. If you don’t want to spray on the body, you can just do it sa clothes or even sa mga bag and it will work just the same. That’s how sure I am and I say this will all confidence because it worked for us. The only times that Monica got insect bites were the days na nakalimutan ko mag-spray. Mommybrain!

      Image from FaithHopeLoveSkinFood Instagram
      500ml – Php 740
      100ml – Php 185
      50ml – Php 100

      Aminin, as a parent, pinaka-ayaw natin yung may sakit ang bagets. Simpleng lagnat or sipon/ubo nga lang, nasstress na tayo eh. Pano pa kung Dengue? We all know it can be fatal so we really have to act on it. Iniisip ko pa lang na macoconfine, naku naiiyak na’ko. I am sure you feel the same way.

      Pero syempre, let us not all rely lang sa mga insect repellent. We still need to make sure na hindi mabubuhay ang mga lamok at all. What to do? We can read more about DOH’s initiative: “4S STRATEGY“.

      I hope you learn something from this. Kaya natin to mga momsh. We hate lamok and we have to be stronger than them. Wag tayo pasakop! Hahaha.

      Watch out for my give away on IG because sharing is caring! <3

      Love,

      Mommy Din

      Din Bautista2 Comments

      Parenting Tips and Tricks

      Wow big words. Let me just put a disclaimer onset – I am, in NO way, an expert in parenting. I only have 3 years of solid experience plus I don’t think anyone can be called an expert because parenting is a life-long hit and miss. Always a work-in-progress.

      So when Dette Zulueta, founder of @millennialmomsph, asked me to be one of the mommies who will share for the MMPH segment in #MommyMundoWorld3, I got so excited and nervous. Like, anong sasabihin ko diba? Aside sa shy type ako, hindi ko sure if may maii-share ba akong worthwhile. Haha.

      I, together with Dette, Ley, Doc Gellina, and Kalai, wholeheartedly shared our tips and tricks about parenting. Such an honor to share the stage with all of them!

      Photo Credit to: Alfie Saniel

      So here’s what I talked about:

      PARENTING HACK I SWEAR BY:

      I answered just one but there’s actually two I want to share:

      CHILL. Relax momma! Chill lang momshies. Hehe. I know it’s easier said than done and I don’t think moms can really chill, but hey, we need to breathe, too. Motherhood is already chaotic, will it help kung lagi tayong stressed?

      What I meant by chill is, let’s try not to over-worry or over-think. Pero syempre, if being an “OA Mom” does not stress you out, that’s completely fine. On the other hand, if thinking too much about, let’s say the food that your kid should eat, the toys your kids should play, etc, brings out the monster in you, then time to pause and think. Time to chill. Are you the type who can’t let go? Like palagi kang nakabantay sa anak mo? I am not. Are you the type na palaging punas sa katawan at kamay? Or sanitizer every minute? Or linis every hour? Haha. I am definitely not like that. Simply because, it stresses me out. And when I am stressed, it’s gonna be worse than the effect of Monica eating dirt. Lol.

      Plus a mom has already 100000 things on her plate each day, so we deserve to have a breather every now and then. If have to check on every little thing, mabubuang tayo. Remember, our child needs a happy mom the most. <3

      WAIT FOR YOUR CHILD, STILL, CHILL. FOLLOWING THE LEAD OF YOUR CHILD. I always keep in mind that I should follow her interests and not mine, wait for her time and not get pressured. Follow what she wants and not what I want. Haha. Hindi ba obvious that all I want is to chill? 😛 What do I mean by this?

      I mean, just stay put and let your child be a child, a baby. Don’t rush things. They are only little once and it won’t help if we will insist things to happen our way. Iba-iba naman ang bata. Hindi porke’t nangyari sa anak ng kaibigan natin at a certain age, ganon rin ang anak natin. Syempre wala namang bata ang parehas. Like my story on Potty Training . I just waited for Monica to be ready and then when it happened, it’s better than what I expected. Normal lang naman na umasa of course, pero what I find not helping is, if we pressure ourselves and our kids just so we can say that we are on time or even ahead. Stress yun.

      Another story I wanna share is, yung pagsusulat ni Monica. I actually felt she’s a bit late in writing. After all, hindi naman sya super galing kumain and hindi rin BLW so I know hirap sya how to hold a pencil or crayon and doodle. I thought oh no, late sya. But then I didn’t let that thought get into me. And hello, 3years old lang sya. Hindi naman pwedeng hindi sya matututong magsulat lol. So I waited. Few weeks ago, she started showing interests in doodling so I just gave her materials so she can practice. One day, I witnessed her drawing a person, not the stick version like what I do haha! With eyes, nose, etc. Imagine my surprise and happiness! I thought to myself, had I forced her to write, I wouldn’t probably feel that delighted and she would not have enjoyed the process as much as she did.

      I swear and stand by my hack: Just chill. Parenthood is chaotic and messy, but it is also beautiful so let’s all enjoy it. <3

      CHALLENGES I FACE AS A PARENT

      Every day is a challenge to be a better mother. There are days when you just wish you are not one. That’s true. No matter how much I love being a mother, there are still days that I wish I am still my old self. But then reality kicks in and I am a mom who is privileged to raise a kid.

      In my 3 years as a parent, with no helper and no relatives nearby, I have encountered countless challenges already. Feeding Monica, putting her to sleep, cleaning the house, sickness, and many more. Those are valid ones and it really happens every day.

      But there’s one thing I consider the most challenging. How to toughen up Monica. I guess all parents want all things beautiful for their child. Who does not want the best life, right? While I see nothing wrong with that, I think it’s a potential downside in the future. In the video clip below, I explained how we, as parents, only want good things for our children. Pero syempre, we cannot always do things for them. Even if we want to make things easy and simple for them para hindi sila mahirapan, we can’t and we shouldn’t do it. Otherwise we are not helping them at all.

      https://www.facebook.com/Mommy-Din-2551228561767723/?modal=admin_todo_tour

      In this generation, it’s a challenge for us parents to make sure we raise strong and kind individuals. After all, sila ang mahihirapan pag wala na tayo diba? And I don’t want Monica to be sheltered. I don’t want things all easy for her. She won’t learn from it. If that is not challenging enough, ewan ko na lang.

      Do we share the same thoughts? 🙂

      Hope you learn something from this. Super thank you to the amazing #MommyMundo team for coming up with events like this. Truly #TheUltimateMomResourceDestination <3

      SPECIAL MENTION TO MY FRIENDS WHO CAME AND SUPPORTED, EVEN DOCUMENTED OUR TALK – Shella, Akira, Seyrah, Alfie, Vianne, Miles, Cherry in spirit, Irene, Iam, and Lara, and the whole mommy community who cheered us on!!! Love you all!!!!! <3 #NAKS

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      Hassle-free Potty Training

      Found this image online. Credits to the owner! mastergolflivestream.com

      Monica got potty-trained overnight. Well almost. For real.

      Ever since Monica turned 2, I’ve been hearing comments saying that “oh naka-diaper pa rin ba sya? 2yo na ah. Dapat hindi na.” To which I will always answer with “Okay lang, ayoko mastress kami parehas.” My mom was one of those who kept on insisting that 2-year-olds should be potty trained already. I get it, she meant well for sure. Haha. But lagi ko sinasabi kay Mommy na antayin ko na lang maging ready si Monica.

      Back in the day, kids get potty-trained pretty early just so they can save on diapers. Ngayon, because of Lazada sale (LOL), hindi namin issue ang Pampers. I’d rather spend than get stressed everyday. #SaTrueLang haha. You all know that we don’t have a helper nor yaya, Beej works almost the whole day, so that only means na ako lahat maglilinis at maglalaba kung ma-wiwi or ma-poops si Monica sa bed or floor diba? In short, I don’t like another chore. Ang convenient ng diaper, especially Pampers, very hiyang si Monica dun, bakit ako magdadagdag ng sakit ng ulo ko diba? Haha. I know my temper, it might get in the way and ma-trauma si Monica. Haha. So I stood firm and did not let the comments pressure me to train her.

      So I just kept on waiting, I would tell her “Oh let mommy know if you want to wiwi okay?” or “So here’s where we pee and poop” but never really taught nor trained her. In my mind I know she will do it when she’s ready. Then the morning of April 19, Monica woke up not wanting to wear her diaper anymore. She immediately asked me to remove it and peed in the toilet. She’s 2 years and 9 months then. All of a sudden, she’s almost fully potty trained and it was me who’s left shocked and not ready. As in ako ang hindi ready. I was like, huh are you sure? Nakuu baka magkalat sa bed.

      That day, we went to a party and I insisted to put a nappy on. She agreed though hesitant. While she was playing, dancing, she went to me and said she wants to pee. I told her she can pee in her diaper. She said “No mommy, I want to pee in the toilet,” OMG. Okay so I brought her to the toilet and she peed. The night came and I was still worried she will pee in bed so I had to put another nappy. The next day, she woke up with a dry nappy, no trace of pee and then she went to the bathroom and peed in her potty trainer (a gift given by my mom looooong time ago).

      That’s the second day, totally diaper-free the whole day. On the 3rd day, I bravely decided not to put on diapers. She peed in bed around 12mn – I was like, okay not so bad. Not bad at all. On the fourth day, she said she wanted to poop and there she went, pooped in the toilet!

      That day I decided to bring her to the mall, just the two of us. I wanted to see how it will go kung wala syang diaper. I brought a nappy with me in case need arises. Haha. So in the middle of fitting clothes, window shopping, twice sya nagsabi na maiihi sya. Yun ang stressful part – yung feel na feel mo na magsukat at bumili pero kailangan nyo maghanap ng CR! Kaloka. Pero to cut it short, it was a success! Whew. Good job anak!

      Then for two weeks, I will wake up around 12:00-12:30 am just so I can bring her to the toilet. For two weeks, there’s a hit and miss and that’s normal. Puyat nga lang ako but then after two weeks of her being nappy-free, she learned how to control her bladder, it got more stabilized as days passed by.

      So what did I do? NOTHING. See, wala akong ginawa, I just waited for her to be ready. That’s it. She did it all on her own. She even goes to her potty trainer and pee, she will wash her hands after, and wear her panty – again, sya lang mag-isa without me teaching her.

      What makes me so happy is that we didn’t have to be stressed about it. We didn’t even have to buy fancy potty-training tools to entice her. If I wanted it my way, I could have forced her and that will probably leave her traumatized or worse, will hold her pee and that’s not okay! It really pays to wait for your child when he or she will be ready. Kids have their own pace and we all should consider and respect that. It will save us some stress and trouble.

      I cannot stress enough how important it is to wait for the kids to be ready. They know better and if we do it that way, it will be easier. It will also make them confident and feel that they have autonomy over their body and their feelings. Who would want to be forced anyway, right? I have nothing against parents who want to potty-train early – that’s perfectly okay. It’s just that, in our case, the other way worked just fine.

      Here are the things that we’ve been doing now that she’s nappy-free already:

      1. I time her liquid intake, usually she will pee after an hour (at least on the first weeks). So I make sure I time it and remind her if she wants to pee. Normally I do this but at times, she will tell me when she wants to pee or poo. Nowadays, she can control her bladder already and pee every 3-4hrs, except pag nag-buko juice! Haha
      2. At first, I joined her in peeing and made the pee sound. But now when she wants to go to the CR on her own, I let her. I just remind her to be careful especially when floor is wet.
      3. I affirm her, I validate her actions. Her face lights up when I do that. It’s such a feat for them and they deserve such recognition!
      4. Try going out without a nappy on, it will test the both of you. Don’t be scared. I swear. Only then you will both know what to do next. We traveled to and from Batangas via bus, without nappy on. Imagine my stress but then again, I trusted her and pull it through. No wiwi accidents! Hahaha

      To this day, June 14, almost 3 months of zero diaper, and I can say things are so much better. We only had less than 10 accidents total and it’s all because we let Monica take her own sweet time. <3

      What is your potty-training story? I hope our story helps! 🙂

      Love,

      Mommy Din

      Din Bautista1 Comment

      I lost 9kgs in 2 months. How?


      Those who have known me from way back would attest that I have always been in the heavy side, I was never slim. And I was fine with that, used to it perhaps. It’s genetics and I always blame it to my big bones. Lol. That’s okay because growing up, I was never made feel that it was bad. My mom and dad would even tell me, ‘hindi bagay sa’yo ang payat,” And I believed

      (Adulthood and) Motherhood happened. I was at 64kg before getting pregnant – probably my heaviest at that time. I barely fit in my clothes and I remember not feeling so right. So when I got preggers, I knew I should watch my diet and weight gain. While I know that eating is important to grow the baby inside my tummy, I made sure not to over indulge. It was successful as I only gained more or less 6-8kgs (because of the vomitting and all). I was at 72kgs full term.

      Gave birth and as expected, losyang ang peg. Haha. Hindi naman ako artista at hindi rin ako blessed with slim figure so nganga. :-p Again, it was fine. Breastfeeding will make me lose weight, sabi ng 7/10 na nanay. I believed them. I ate everything I wanted only because LAGI AKONG GUTOM. Every after breastfeeding gutom ako agad. My weight was stuck at 66kgs. I was okay with that plus Beej has always been reassuring that it doesn’t matter even if I am chubbier. What a husband. Haha

      For almost 2.5 years, my weight has always been 66kgs. Nasanay na lang ako, again I can always reason out na I am breastfeeding. Pero syempre lumalaki na si Monica, she would only feed for comfort and not because she’s hungry.

      Around March 2019, I weighed in and to my surprise, I reached 69 – 69 kgs!!!!!!! Whaaaaat? I can’t believe it (well, kain ako nang kain so not impossible haha). I cannot accept it. I told myself I will start my diet once I am done breastfeeding but that moment I said, I HAVE TO DO THIS NOW. Thankfully, I talked to my mommy friend Jen who proved that the KETO DIET worked for her. Same story with another mommy friend, Iam.

      I told Beejay that it’s about time I focus on myself – he agreed and supported me. I ordered Keto meals from @ketogenicmanila (Php 2750) for two weeks. I was semi-strict because I still cheat on weekends. My weight dropped to 66kgs after 2weeks. I tried another one, @deardietph (Php 2250) and my weight stabilized at 65. So so happy! I got used to eating lowcarbs. I also did intermittent fasting, meaning I fast for 16hrs then eat within the 8hrs window time. Fasting meaning, I only drink water in those 16hrs – nothing else. No calorie intake at all.

      Here’s how I lost 9kgs (dami kong intro sa taas hahaha).

      Disclaimer: JUST BECAUSE IT WORKED FOR ME, DOES NOT MEAN IT WILL WORK MAGICALLY FOR YOU AS WELL. ALSO, I DON’T RECOMMEND THIS TO BREASTFEEDING MAMAS (2YRS OLD AND BELOW) OR TO SOMEONE WITH HEALTH CONDITION. Please patis, wag ako i-quote. K? 🙂

      1. After 3 weeks of ordering and eating Keto plan meals, I decided to just create my own meal plan and do Intermittent Fasting. I was off to a good start as my weight went down to 65kgs already.
      2. I would ALWAYS ALWAYS check the label – check carbs content either in the nutritional facts or in Google. I seriously learned to check everything first. The key here is to be mindful of what I put in my mouth. For you to lose weight, you only have to consume less than 20g of carbs daily.
      3. I gave up on rice, bread, pasta, chips, sweets. Sad? Not really. Before I would eat one pack (or two) chips every single day – I would tell myself na reward ko yun kasi nakapaglinis nako at napatulog ko na ang bata. While watching Netflix, chips galore si Momshie. Ayun, tumaba haha. Imagine, a pack of chips has 13-17g of carbs! Imagine that. A small cadbury yata, like 3 squares have 10g of carbs. And 1/3 cup of rice has 13g of carbs agad. SO DO THE MATH. This way I got really conscious of what I eat. It helped me a lot.
      4. Wala ba akong cheat day? I do! But in moderation. Ayoko naman maging KJ for life. Konti na lang as in. And we seldom eat out na. Hahaha. Panay Samgyup na lang, syempre meat yun eh. Haha.
      5. What do I eat and what time do I eat? On a regular day, I will break my fast or start eating around 9-10am. I would eat pork chop or bacon or omelet, black coffee with Stevia natural. Then I will eat around 3pm na ulit, anything meat. I don’t care about the calories, as long as carbs content is not high. Be careful with fruit diet, madaming fruits mataas sa Carbs especially banana and kamote, so ingat lang. Akala natin diet na tayo kasi fruits pero mataas content so wit na. Last meal would be around 4pm. Tapos na kain ko nyan. Paano si Monica? I feed her regular food syempre. Hindi sya kasali sa diet anoba. Hahaha. Si Beej naman, support sakin, does not eat dinner at home na. Nagpapayat na rin. Hahaha

      Do not ever start this if you are not 200% ready, otherwise you’ll just burn yourself with soooo many excuses and the beautiful effect of Low Carb + Intermittent Fasting won’t work. It worked for me, for real. My weight plateaued on the 3rd month to 59-60kgs. Maybe because I am now in the normal level of my weight, my BMI is now at 23ish from 27. But I am keeping this lifestyle. It’s very doable and to be honest, my milk supply was not affected at all. Yahoooo.

      I am all for body positivism, but feeling so heavy did not make me feel happy – I was always moody, I get really sad when clothes don’t fit and at times I would look in the mirror and say “ang taba ko!” Monica would hear it and that’s what I don’t want. I want my daughter to grow up confident and happy with her body, so I have to start modeling it for her. I wouldn’t be able to do this without the support of my amazing husband. Ayun, mas malaki na pinayat sa’kin, competitive eh! HAHA. Love you baby.

      So there. I am really happy and a lot has been asking me about this already so here you go. <3

      I hope you get inspired with this. Let me know okay? You can like, comment, and share if you think this will be helpful <3

      Love,

      MommyDin

      Din Bautista8 Comments