“It seems that I don’t need you for that anymore.”

Some days, I want her to grow up so she can do more things on her own. But most days, I just want her to stay little and need me a little more.

It’s been a week since Monica started to wash on her own every after bathroom business. I can’t count how many times I asked when will she be able to do it. Not that I want to rush things, but just so she won’t bother me when I am asleep, at work, or simply resting.

Lazy mama you must say, but yes. I have days when I don’t really want to function as a mother. 

One Sunday, when I was napping and Beej was in a meeting (he has Sunday work), Monica woke me up because she wanted to poop. Awoken from a very rare nap, I snapped and her and said “I hate that my sleep is now interrupted! Don’t talk to me first! Let me rest!” I know, I know, too bad of me. I felt guilty after and explained why I got mad.

Almost the same scenario happened again, but this time, Monica did not wake me up. She waited for her daddy’s meeting to finish before calling him even if it meant waiting in the toilet for 30 minutes. I asked why she had to wait, “I don’t want to disturb your sleep, mommy.” My heart was crushed. 

A few days after this incident, she asked me to teach her how to wash herself. So I taught her; showed her how to use the bidet, soap, and so on. At first I was so excited and proud. She learned fast and she seemed to enjoy doing things on her own. Until last night when I decided to secretly watch her wash.

She seemed uncomfortable; imagine, a small built trying to reach the bidet, the soap, while making sure her shirt won’t get wet. It took a long time for her to finish. But as soon as done, she ran to me and shared how she did it as usual. That’s when I cried.

Monica: Mommy why are you crying?

Mommy: Why are you washing your pwet on your own already?🥲

Monica: It seems that I don’t need you for that anymore

Mommy: 😭😭😭😭

Monica:

Oh no don’t cry mommy! I still need you in learning new things. I still need you to take care of me.🥰

I am sorry for being emotional but it really made me cry. Now I wanted to do all things for her but I know I shouldn’t. No matter how much I stop or delay, this stage will come. I felt guilty for being so lazy but at the same time, I know it was needed.

Haaaaaay. My baby who used to be so clingy and needy is now a big girl. Haaaaaaay. BRB crying again.🥺🥺🥺

Parenting Tips and Tricks

Wow big words. Let me just put a disclaimer onset – I am, in NO way, an expert in parenting. I only have 3 years of solid experience plus I don’t think anyone can be called an expert because parenting is a life-long hit and miss. Always a work-in-progress.

So when Dette Zulueta, founder of @millennialmomsph, asked me to be one of the mommies who will share for the MMPH segment in #MommyMundoWorld3, I got so excited and nervous. Like, anong sasabihin ko diba? Aside sa shy type ako, hindi ko sure if may maii-share ba akong worthwhile. Haha.

I, together with Dette, Ley, Doc Gellina, and Kalai, wholeheartedly shared our tips and tricks about parenting. Such an honor to share the stage with all of them!

Photo Credit to: Alfie Saniel

So here’s what I talked about:

PARENTING HACK I SWEAR BY:

I answered just one but there’s actually two I want to share:

CHILL. Relax momma! Chill lang momshies. Hehe. I know it’s easier said than done and I don’t think moms can really chill, but hey, we need to breathe, too. Motherhood is already chaotic, will it help kung lagi tayong stressed?

What I meant by chill is, let’s try not to over-worry or over-think. Pero syempre, if being an “OA Mom” does not stress you out, that’s completely fine. On the other hand, if thinking too much about, let’s say the food that your kid should eat, the toys your kids should play, etc, brings out the monster in you, then time to pause and think. Time to chill. Are you the type who can’t let go? Like palagi kang nakabantay sa anak mo? I am not. Are you the type na palaging punas sa katawan at kamay? Or sanitizer every minute? Or linis every hour? Haha. I am definitely not like that. Simply because, it stresses me out. And when I am stressed, it’s gonna be worse than the effect of Monica eating dirt. Lol.

Plus a mom has already 100000 things on her plate each day, so we deserve to have a breather every now and then. If have to check on every little thing, mabubuang tayo. Remember, our child needs a happy mom the most. <3

WAIT FOR YOUR CHILD, STILL, CHILL. FOLLOWING THE LEAD OF YOUR CHILD. I always keep in mind that I should follow her interests and not mine, wait for her time and not get pressured. Follow what she wants and not what I want. Haha. Hindi ba obvious that all I want is to chill? 😛 What do I mean by this?

I mean, just stay put and let your child be a child, a baby. Don’t rush things. They are only little once and it won’t help if we will insist things to happen our way. Iba-iba naman ang bata. Hindi porke’t nangyari sa anak ng kaibigan natin at a certain age, ganon rin ang anak natin. Syempre wala namang bata ang parehas. Like my story on Potty Training . I just waited for Monica to be ready and then when it happened, it’s better than what I expected. Normal lang naman na umasa of course, pero what I find not helping is, if we pressure ourselves and our kids just so we can say that we are on time or even ahead. Stress yun.

Another story I wanna share is, yung pagsusulat ni Monica. I actually felt she’s a bit late in writing. After all, hindi naman sya super galing kumain and hindi rin BLW so I know hirap sya how to hold a pencil or crayon and doodle. I thought oh no, late sya. But then I didn’t let that thought get into me. And hello, 3years old lang sya. Hindi naman pwedeng hindi sya matututong magsulat lol. So I waited. Few weeks ago, she started showing interests in doodling so I just gave her materials so she can practice. One day, I witnessed her drawing a person, not the stick version like what I do haha! With eyes, nose, etc. Imagine my surprise and happiness! I thought to myself, had I forced her to write, I wouldn’t probably feel that delighted and she would not have enjoyed the process as much as she did.

I swear and stand by my hack: Just chill. Parenthood is chaotic and messy, but it is also beautiful so let’s all enjoy it. <3

CHALLENGES I FACE AS A PARENT

Every day is a challenge to be a better mother. There are days when you just wish you are not one. That’s true. No matter how much I love being a mother, there are still days that I wish I am still my old self. But then reality kicks in and I am a mom who is privileged to raise a kid.

In my 3 years as a parent, with no helper and no relatives nearby, I have encountered countless challenges already. Feeding Monica, putting her to sleep, cleaning the house, sickness, and many more. Those are valid ones and it really happens every day.

But there’s one thing I consider the most challenging. How to toughen up Monica. I guess all parents want all things beautiful for their child. Who does not want the best life, right? While I see nothing wrong with that, I think it’s a potential downside in the future. In the video clip below, I explained how we, as parents, only want good things for our children. Pero syempre, we cannot always do things for them. Even if we want to make things easy and simple for them para hindi sila mahirapan, we can’t and we shouldn’t do it. Otherwise we are not helping them at all.

https://www.facebook.com/Mommy-Din-2551228561767723/?modal=admin_todo_tour

In this generation, it’s a challenge for us parents to make sure we raise strong and kind individuals. After all, sila ang mahihirapan pag wala na tayo diba? And I don’t want Monica to be sheltered. I don’t want things all easy for her. She won’t learn from it. If that is not challenging enough, ewan ko na lang.

Do we share the same thoughts? 🙂

Hope you learn something from this. Super thank you to the amazing #MommyMundo team for coming up with events like this. Truly #TheUltimateMomResourceDestination <3

SPECIAL MENTION TO MY FRIENDS WHO CAME AND SUPPORTED, EVEN DOCUMENTED OUR TALK – Shella, Akira, Seyrah, Alfie, Vianne, Miles, Cherry in spirit, Irene, Iam, and Lara, and the whole mommy community who cheered us on!!! Love you all!!!!! <3 #NAKS

Hassle-free Potty Training

Found this image online. Credits to the owner! mastergolflivestream.com

Monica got potty-trained overnight. Well almost. For real.

Ever since Monica turned 2, I’ve been hearing comments saying that “oh naka-diaper pa rin ba sya? 2yo na ah. Dapat hindi na.” To which I will always answer with “Okay lang, ayoko mastress kami parehas.” My mom was one of those who kept on insisting that 2-year-olds should be potty trained already. I get it, she meant well for sure. Haha. But lagi ko sinasabi kay Mommy na antayin ko na lang maging ready si Monica.

Back in the day, kids get potty-trained pretty early just so they can save on diapers. Ngayon, because of Lazada sale (LOL), hindi namin issue ang Pampers. I’d rather spend than get stressed everyday. #SaTrueLang haha. You all know that we don’t have a helper nor yaya, Beej works almost the whole day, so that only means na ako lahat maglilinis at maglalaba kung ma-wiwi or ma-poops si Monica sa bed or floor diba? In short, I don’t like another chore. Ang convenient ng diaper, especially Pampers, very hiyang si Monica dun, bakit ako magdadagdag ng sakit ng ulo ko diba? Haha. I know my temper, it might get in the way and ma-trauma si Monica. Haha. So I stood firm and did not let the comments pressure me to train her.

So I just kept on waiting, I would tell her “Oh let mommy know if you want to wiwi okay?” or “So here’s where we pee and poop” but never really taught nor trained her. In my mind I know she will do it when she’s ready. Then the morning of April 19, Monica woke up not wanting to wear her diaper anymore. She immediately asked me to remove it and peed in the toilet. She’s 2 years and 9 months then. All of a sudden, she’s almost fully potty trained and it was me who’s left shocked and not ready. As in ako ang hindi ready. I was like, huh are you sure? Nakuu baka magkalat sa bed.

That day, we went to a party and I insisted to put a nappy on. She agreed though hesitant. While she was playing, dancing, she went to me and said she wants to pee. I told her she can pee in her diaper. She said “No mommy, I want to pee in the toilet,” OMG. Okay so I brought her to the toilet and she peed. The night came and I was still worried she will pee in bed so I had to put another nappy. The next day, she woke up with a dry nappy, no trace of pee and then she went to the bathroom and peed in her potty trainer (a gift given by my mom looooong time ago).

That’s the second day, totally diaper-free the whole day. On the 3rd day, I bravely decided not to put on diapers. She peed in bed around 12mn – I was like, okay not so bad. Not bad at all. On the fourth day, she said she wanted to poop and there she went, pooped in the toilet!

That day I decided to bring her to the mall, just the two of us. I wanted to see how it will go kung wala syang diaper. I brought a nappy with me in case need arises. Haha. So in the middle of fitting clothes, window shopping, twice sya nagsabi na maiihi sya. Yun ang stressful part – yung feel na feel mo na magsukat at bumili pero kailangan nyo maghanap ng CR! Kaloka. Pero to cut it short, it was a success! Whew. Good job anak!

Then for two weeks, I will wake up around 12:00-12:30 am just so I can bring her to the toilet. For two weeks, there’s a hit and miss and that’s normal. Puyat nga lang ako but then after two weeks of her being nappy-free, she learned how to control her bladder, it got more stabilized as days passed by.

So what did I do? NOTHING. See, wala akong ginawa, I just waited for her to be ready. That’s it. She did it all on her own. She even goes to her potty trainer and pee, she will wash her hands after, and wear her panty – again, sya lang mag-isa without me teaching her.

What makes me so happy is that we didn’t have to be stressed about it. We didn’t even have to buy fancy potty-training tools to entice her. If I wanted it my way, I could have forced her and that will probably leave her traumatized or worse, will hold her pee and that’s not okay! It really pays to wait for your child when he or she will be ready. Kids have their own pace and we all should consider and respect that. It will save us some stress and trouble.

I cannot stress enough how important it is to wait for the kids to be ready. They know better and if we do it that way, it will be easier. It will also make them confident and feel that they have autonomy over their body and their feelings. Who would want to be forced anyway, right? I have nothing against parents who want to potty-train early – that’s perfectly okay. It’s just that, in our case, the other way worked just fine.

Here are the things that we’ve been doing now that she’s nappy-free already:

  1. I time her liquid intake, usually she will pee after an hour (at least on the first weeks). So I make sure I time it and remind her if she wants to pee. Normally I do this but at times, she will tell me when she wants to pee or poo. Nowadays, she can control her bladder already and pee every 3-4hrs, except pag nag-buko juice! Haha
  2. At first, I joined her in peeing and made the pee sound. But now when she wants to go to the CR on her own, I let her. I just remind her to be careful especially when floor is wet.
  3. I affirm her, I validate her actions. Her face lights up when I do that. It’s such a feat for them and they deserve such recognition!
  4. Try going out without a nappy on, it will test the both of you. Don’t be scared. I swear. Only then you will both know what to do next. We traveled to and from Batangas via bus, without nappy on. Imagine my stress but then again, I trusted her and pull it through. No wiwi accidents! Hahaha

To this day, June 14, almost 3 months of zero diaper, and I can say things are so much better. We only had less than 10 accidents total and it’s all because we let Monica take her own sweet time. <3

What is your potty-training story? I hope our story helps! 🙂

Love,

Mommy Din

Smart Parenting

I’ve been an avid follower of SmartParentingPH and never in my wildest dream that I thought of writing for them. I am not even a writer, duh? Haha. But the joys and cries of motherhood make me want to share my experiences to the world. I used to just write in my blog, write notes, write long captions in Social Media but now I have the avenue to express myself and be of help (somehow) to other parents out there.

I have 9 articles to date and it keeps getting better! I have an amazing editor who unselfishly and willingly help me out! Thanks Ms. Leah!

Super shout out to our friend, Rej, for paving the way for this to happen. I will never ever forget this. Thank you again, Rej!!!!!! <3

I will be posting my articles here! Yay!

 
Link: https://www.smartparenting.com.ph/author/din-real-bautista?ref=article_author

Welcome to Toddlerhood!

Welcome to Toddlerhood!
I have not been able to keep up with this blog. Why? Because we have a toddler now! And people are right, there will be no to little alone or quiet time when you have a toddler! I know, I know, we have just begun and there will be more to come! Haha
Monica made her first real steps a day before her birthday. A week after, she can walk fast and straight already, wobbly for a bit but still good! She didn’t use any andador, walkers, or anything. She learned by cruising and her stand was firm because of her many, many floor time. I allowed her to crawl anywhere she pleases. And I think it helped her a lot.
At first we were really proud and excited! First time parents, what do you expect? But lately, I would dream of the infant Monica because this stage is really tiring! She would really explore, walk, scream, laugh, anything! Haha.
She has also become a picky eater. When she hit 1, things changed. I never had a problem feeding her anything, but now, it takes A LOT OF EFFORT to feed her solids. She would just grab the boobies and latch. Yes, exclusively breastfeeding for almost 16 months now. Feeding her solid food stresses me at times because I am worried she won’t get enough nutrition but the pedia told me it’s normal and I won’t have to worry since her weight and height are above average.
Too many milestones! Yes, that’s right. She can already say more than 20 words, just say a word and she will repeat. When she hit 1 year and 2 months, she learned her body parts already (and say it). At 1 year 3 months, she already knows all the letters in the alphabet. She would practice on her own and look at the chart. She will say the letters when she sees one. And believe me, there are letters anywhere! Haha.
Oh no, before you think that we force her or we teach her too much, stop. The reason why we “teach” her is because she showed interest first. I guess the credit goes to her books. We would buy her books every week and she got accustomed to it. She loves books. Good thing!
Social skills I believe is at par also. She loves being with other kids – she enjoys playing. But she would cry when she sees “strangers”. I was told it’s normal and it’s actually a developmental milestone. It’s just a phase so no worries.
Each baby is different. That’s true. But as a parent, it is normal to feel proud of every (and any) thing that yoru baby does. No matter how big or small, whatever your baby does, you will feel proud. Haha. I swear! Even a very sweet smile is already a reason to be proud. Hahahaha.
If you ask me how we are as parents? I am not an OC mom. Weird ba? I just let her. I trust Monica and just let her. Beej is more protective which is understandable. #DaddysGirl. Haha.
Anyhow, too early to tell. But for now, Monica, at 15 months – I guess, it’s safe to say that Beej and I are doing okay in raising her. The real challenge begins when she hit adulthood. Okay, sige teenager. Haha.
So there. That’s the Monica update! <3
 
Till next!
Din
 
 
 

The Mommy Hair

Hair was never really a concern in my life – I believe I’ve been blessed with a very healthy and manageable hair UNTIL mommyhood! Haha. This is one thing that nobody warned me about. YOU WILL GO CRAZY with your hair – well at least based on my experience. Well, yeah, not really crazy but definitely disturbing.

At 4 months post-partum, I started having problems with hair fall (due to hormonal changes after pregnancy and child-birth). I would literally see hair strandsssss everywhere! And even if I just sit still and do nothing, my hair falls off! Imagine that. So annoying!

At around 10 months post-partum, I felt I needed to regroup and change my aura so I will feel good about myself. Yeah, motherhood is really tiring and consuming so yes, you can say that I belong to the mothers who, most of the time, forget to take care of themselves. Anyhow, I had my hair curled (digiperm) because I thought that would make me feel good. Well, at some point it did. Who would not want to wake up every single day with your hair looking like you’re going to a party or event? Haha. Yeah, i loved my curls.

But… it’s hard to maintain because I always needed to tie it up so it won’t add to the things I have to manage and think of everyday. Whenever we go out, I would let my curls down but not even 2 hours outside, i would feel irritated and will just tie up again so as to make sure it won’t get to Monica’s face or Monica pulling it. Haha.

So one day, I woke up wanting to just cut my hair short. I wanted a different look. I wanted my hair to be the least of my worries and still feel good about it. Tadaaaaa. Monica and I went to the salon and had my hair cut! AND I HAVE NEVER FELT THIS GOOD ABOUT MY HAIR. YAY!

So here’s the evolution of my hair. Lels

This one, the day before I have birth. See, my hair was really long. And messy. Really. Haha

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Then 2months post-partum, I had it cut so that I would feel pretty naman. Haha. Pardon my haggard and puyat look. MOTHERHOOD YEAH. Thanks to Azta Urban Salon for this.

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This one is the kulot version by Tony and Jackey on the 10th month post-partum.

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And this one is the latest. SO HAPPY WITH THIS!! Thanks to Mike of Studio Fix by Alex Carbonell!

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If there’s one thing that motherhood taught me, that’s to be brave. BRAVE ENOUGH TO TRY. In my case, try this short hair look. Nyahahahaha. But I love it! They said short hair won’t be bagay to chubby faces like mine, I’d say, KEBS. I did it for convenience actually. I feel very light and I wouldn’t have to worry about my hair now. And most importantly, this makes me feel really good. So KEBS sa big face. Haha.

Till next,

Din